Lenora's Hangout

Christmas message from a classmate

My dear classmate, Albert Dacenzo, emailed me today a thoughtful Christmas message I wish to share with you:

 

Hi Lord, it’s me. We are getting older and things are getting bad here. Gas prices are too high, no jobs, lack of food and heating costs too high. I know some have taken you out of our schools, government and even Christmas, but Lord I'm asking you to come back and re-bless America. We really need you! There are more of us who want you than those who don't!

Thank You Lord, I Love you. If you agree, send it on---if not just delete. Only you and  the Lord will know.

 

 

 "Life without God is like an unsharpened pencil - it has no point."

Amen!  Thanks Albert for this timely message when God is the reason for the season.  Merry Christmas all.

 

How to buy my books!

 

OK folks, there are 2 ways that you can purchase my books. I am still working on the third option with Smashwords that provides more format choices..having problems getting their support in resolving some issues.

 

1. Preview and buy at Amazon Kindle on my author page. If you are a new customer, click on the Start here section on the Amazon page; if already a customer, simply Sign In. 

2. Preview and buy at Lulu on my author spotlight page. You must sign up as a member. You can download the FREE Adobe Digital Edition Launcher in order to read the ebooks. If it is not on my Lulu page, you can download it HERE. This is a good choice for those who do not have a Kindle or other ebook readers...you must read the book on line or on your computer. Check my blog post on: How ADE reader works:  http://tweety1216.typepad.com/lenora/2011/12/do-you-have-an-e-reader.html

NOTE: The Buy Lulu button on the LEFT sidebar does not list all my books so it is better to go to my spotlight page until I can get this resolved.  Wow, this self publishing is confusing and hard work. LOL

I will keep working on the Smashwords option.

Now I can finish my next ebook, Part 4.  Thanks for purchasing my book; hope you enjoy it and please rate and give a review of my eBooks.  Thanks,  Lenora

 

My Birthday Made Complete!

 

I received this birthday card from my loving daughter, Chantay, which brought tears to my eyes and I am indeed blessed.

 

 Mom,

 “What matters in our lives isn’t what you do or where I go with mine, but that the two are intertwined.

 What matters is that you are always my mother and I am always your daughter.

 What matters is the love I have for you, the admiration I have for you, and the appreciation I have for you.”

 Always...Happy Birthday

 Lots of love, Chantay.

 

My daughter made my day and I love her so deeply.  God is good!

Thanks again to all of you who took the time to send me birthday wishes…ya’ll also made my day enjoyable and blissful.  Luv, Lenora

 

How does it feel to be 71 years old today?

One thing I like about this blog is that I can write whatever I feel whenever I feel it and today I feel great because I lived to see another day. I give thanks to God for all the blessings He has bestowed upon me all these years and have much to celebrate. I am one of the babies of the class of 1958 which makes the rest of you classmates sooooo much older.  LOL I am thankful that I have not suffered from any serious illnesses such as diabetes, cancer, etc.; I am not overweight nor suffering from depression or being alone. The osteoporosis and arthritis that has attacked my body is bearable and I can still strum my bass guitar and type on my computer despite the tightness in my fingers. Plus Epson Salts in my nightly bubble baths comforts my slim brown body. Yep, I have a few gray hairs sprouting in my short hair but not too many wrinkles emerging on my face. I guess what my Jamaican friend told me years ago that “black don’t crack” actually applies to people of color.  I truly could pass for age 60 and give thanks that I don’t look or act my age.

Despite having cataracts removed years ago, I still have to rely upon reading glasses and try to avoid driving at night. Guess what?  I still have my own teeth and may be able to avoid dentures totally. There are bouts of incontinence but that’s what sanitary pads are for. I have not reached that stage yet where I have to depend upon DEPENDS to counter this dilemma. The major fear I face during my golden years is developing dementia and I am making a concerted effort to keep my brain active through my book writing and maintaining my blogs. Got to use it or I may lose it!

I give thanks for having a modest home where I am surrounded by all the necessary comforts I need to live in a relaxed and enjoyable setting. Even though I live from payday to payday, I am blessed to have enough to meet all my needs and every now and then treat myself to something special. On my last birthday, I went to Lowes and bought myself a 17” commode so I could avoid all the trouble I had getting up after each use--one of the best gifts I ever gave myself. This year I don’t need anything special and will concentrate on visiting my 92 year old mother in the nursing home and help her to do Christmas arts and crafts. We had a pleasant visit together a few days ago…she is very frail but hanging in there as best she can. I love my dear Mother, who has always been there to love and support me. I am who I am because of her. I will spend my birthday with her today.

I count my blessings for the love I receive from my daughter, Chantay, who keeps in constant contact with me and is always there when I need her. I give thanks to my cousins, Yma and Willie, who check on me often to make sure I am doing OK. Despite being single, living alone, and no grandchildren, I have the loving comfort of my two puppy dogs, Coco and Halee, who I enjoy caring for and receiving their everyday love that no human being has ever given me.

 

 

 

 

 

So at age young age of 71, I give thanks to the Lord above and will continue to abide by the following devotions:

• Life is precious and we need to enjoy it to its fullest while we are able. We tend to get so wrapped up in all that we would like to have or do that we forget to enjoy what we have now. People grow old, children grow up, houses decay, and cars fall apart. In other words, life goes on, time is always moving forward. Take the time to enjoy what you have. 
• A higher faith is placing your trust in someone you can’t see, believing what you hear or read about him. I have never seen Jesus of the Bible, but I know He lived and died for me.  I see and feel God working in all areas of my life.
• Have a Good Day - The good news is that you can choose to have a good day, at any point during the day. When you think of having a good day, your attitude changes and you begin to feel like it is going to be a good day. And when the day is over you can look back and see that it was.
• When I feel stagnant and dry, I realize that I need to start growing again! One way to start growing is to feed your mind with good thoughts and encouraging words. Do something that is different. We tend to get into ruts that cause us to do the same things over and over. Do not be afraid of change. Let change challenge you to grow.
• Look Ahead - Many of us look to the past and live there instead of looking to and living in the present. When we dwell on past failures we are setting ourselves up to fail again. When we learn from our past and begin to look ahead, we are preparing ourselves to succeed. Our past experiences should be our teacher not our leader. The future looks good to those who know that the past is past and can only control them if they let it.
• The person who builds up his/her spirit will find strength to accomplish any goal they set. The Bible (Neh. 10:8) tells us "the joy of the Lord is your strength". Build up your body and have strength for a little while; build up your spirit and have strength for all of life’s struggles.
• Be Yourself - So many people try to be someone they're not, often because they're not happy with who they perceive themselves to be. One way to overcome this is to look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are someone special, that you are the right person for whatever you are doing, and that you deserve the rewards in life you get. Be yourself. Let people see you as you are: a very special person. After all, there is no one else like you in the world. You will notice that I am very open about my gayness in my writings on my blogs, and in my eBooks. I simply want to stress that at age 71, I could care less about who knows this fact. Your option = accept me or reject me!  I am who I am and my life continues to move gaily forward with God as my guide and savior.

I am looking forward to my 72nd birthday and live daily embracing life while facing the inevitable—death. Life is good! God is good!  Thank you to all who took the time to wish me a happy birthday…it is greatly appreciated. Have a good day!

 

Merry Christmas to all

Friends are beginning to send me Christmas greetings and I would like to share them with you.

This one is from Vera Lou Durigon...cute for Animal Lovers.

Click here to view the card:  Merry Christmas

 

 

NOTE: I will continue to post any greetings I receive from friends on this blog. It is great to share these greetings with others...so let it rip.

 

To all you Animal Lovers.  

1. YouTube video of animals singing  "Deck the Halls"....Debbie Scharf

2. YouTube video of animals singing "Jingle Bells" -- I found this on YouTube

 

 

To Love Ones in Heaven

 My newfound “Byrd Family” member, Debbie Jackson Byrd posted a message on Facebook for those with Mothers that are in heaven for this Christmas holiday. It was so heartfelt because I have dear friends who will not have their mothers around for Christmas (Patty and Vera Lou) and I am sure there are others who are experiencing this grief.  I also think of my friends, Marlene Kara, Diane Prati, Rich Filchock and so many others who have lost a spouse or love one and grieve during the holidays. And a special comforting message for my cousin, Vanessa, who lost a son this year.

I hope Debbie doesn’t mind that I took her message and revised it for all of you who have a loved one who is in heaven for the holiday season. May God bring you comfort knowing that your love is in good care.

 

 

 

Vote for River of Year in PA

I just received this email from a friend, Norma Ryan and pass it on to those who desire to vote on this issue.

Dear Friends,

Listed below is a link that allows you to vote for the Mid Monongahela River as the ‘River of the Year’ in the state of PA. Your vote is very important to us. If you will kindly use the link to vote for our river it will be greatly appreciated.

Voting is up and live at: http://pawatersheds.org/vote/   or

  http://www.facebook.com/PAwatersheds?sk=app_127709503932081  

I am also asking that you forward this request to all of your friends and family. It does not matter where they live. It is the votes that are important. Remember many great leaders have lost elections by one vote. We need your vote!!!

If our section of the Monongahela river is named the ‘river of the year’, Brownsville will be awarded a grant to perform activities on the river such as kayaking and canoeing/performances on the wharf/ the ducky race in August and a mural on the wall of the wharf. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me. Please vote and ask your friends and families to vote. Help us win this competitive award.

Sincerely, Norma Ryan

niryan@altlanticbb.net

 

Caregiver Stories

In my Once I Was eBook #4, I include a chapter on the role I experienced as a caregiver for my aging mother. I felt alone, helpless, confused, unprepared and unable to provide adequately for her needs. As caregivers, we sometimes become so involved in the day-to-day efforts to keep things going we may forget to let others know we need additional assistance with providing care, or just need a break from the routine of caring for someone. Through the years my mother went through various stages as her dementia increased to include:

Memory loss: cannot remember what day or year it is or how old she is, etc.

Difficulty performing familiar tasks: how to use the phone, TV remote, stove, etc.

Poor or decreased judgment: dress inappropriately, wearing several layers of clothes, refusing to put on clean clothes, etc.

Misplacing and hoarding items: money in drawers and in envelopes under her bed; hoarding newspapers, TV guides, chewing gum wrappers, popsicle sticks, paper towel empty rolls, letters, cards, candy cans/boxes, phone books, catalogs, plastic juice and milk cartons, etc.

Refusing to take her medicine.

Changes in mood and behavior: rapid mood swings from calm to anger for no apparent reason, belligerent, physical and cursing at me (my mother never cursed before this disease).

Changes in personality: extremely confused, suspicious, fearful and seemed to rebel being dependent on me—accused me of trying to be “her mother.”

Loss of initiative: became passive, sitting in front of the TV for hours, sleeping more than usual and not wanting to do usual activities.

Disorientation to time and place: became lost in her own neighborhood; forgot where she was and how she got there and not knowing how to get back home. Suffered from “sundown syndrome” each evening by climbing over the fence and saying that she was going home. She tried to leave our house to go to the past location where we used to live.

Body hygiene and cleanliness: refused to bathe, wash her hair, put on clean clothes, wear her false teeth, etc.

Alzheimer caregivers report that they frequently experience high levels of stress to include the following: denial, anger, social withdrawal, anxiety, depression, exhaustion, irritability, lack of concentration and health problems (all of which I experienced during my time as a caregiver).  After 10 years as a caregiver I became "burned out" experiencing fatigue, stress, anxiety, and depression. I also felt guilty if I spent time on myself rather than on my mother. Burnout can occur when caregivers don't get the help they need, or if they try to do more than they are able -- either physically or financially. I finally had to resort to placing my mother in a nursing home where she is presently receiving the proper care that I could not adequately provide on a daily basis. At first I felt guilty for doing such, but in the end I had no other choice if I wanted to live free from stress from trying to do the impossible.

I know many of my friends and family who have been thrust into the role of a caregiver which has abruptly changed their life. Every caregiver case is different, so I would like to include personal stories from my readers who are or have experienced this stressful role for a loved one. I listed some questions as a guideline you could use to respond to when sharing your story and need your permission to include them in my next book. Simply write what you feel.

1. How did you know when you really became a caregiver? When did you discover that it was time to start taking more control over a relative's life -- and to start taking control away?

2. How has this role affected you and/or your family?

3. What physical, emotional, and behavioral warning signs did you experience that led to caregiver stress?

4. How do/did you manage to cope with this stress from helping your love one?

5. Did you seek caregiver guidance from your local Area Agency on Aging, caregiver support groups, local senior centers or adult day cares, assisted living facilities, personal care homes or nursing homes?

6. Did you consider the legal and financial implications you face as a caregiver? Can your love one afford nursing home care? Do you have power of attorney? Does your love one have a will?

7. How has your new responsibilities caring for someone else affected the rest of your life?

NOTE: You may send me an email with your story included in an attached Word document that I can include in my next eBook.  I will maintain contact with you by email in reference to your input and how I plan to write it in my book and obtain your approval for the final editing.

Please share your caregiver story with others who may be experiencing this dilemma…you never know who you may help in the long run.

My email:  Lenora1216@aol.com.

Thanks and looking forward to your input.  Luv, Lenora

 

OLOC Herstory

While checking my older posts I made here, I ran across info I posted on Old Lesbians Organizing for Change (OLOC) way back in 2009. i decided to recheck the site and discovered some new information. These women have made great progress and I applaude them in their efforts...what a neat thing to see for us "oldies but goodies who are gay and gray" and are often forgotten about as the years pass us by.

They have an oral herstory (not history) project they created at OLOHP.  (Neat...I used this tag in my printed book WAC Major: Herstory). They state that "there is an urgency inherent in the nature of the OLOHP. Each year, women whose stories the project wanted to gather slip away. Some Old Lesbians die before we are able to interview them; others become unable to do the interview. The herstories of the women who lived through a unique period in time need to be preserved. The women deserve to be recognized for their experiences and contributions. And, just as importantly, there are thousands of other Old Lesbians who need to know they are not alone". 

They continue to state that: "The word "Herstory" is used intentionally as a way to help make these personal stories immediately identifiable as stories about women. It also helps emphasize that this project has been created and nurtured by women. It is not a political statement about men's role in writing history or in history itself. We are aware that the etymology of the word history does not imply gender". 

I love their article about "Ageism and Lesbophobia" which you can read in PDF form. These gals have it going on!

Then I lucked up and lo and behold I found them on Facebook.

Whether you are gay or not, the infomation and projects these ladies are sharing should be of interest to all.

Check them out.  So glad I found them.  Keep up the good work...not bad for 70 year olds.   

 

 

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

During my time in the service, there was no way anyone would expose themselves as being gay in the military. Constant witch hunts were conducted trying to sniff out gays and lesbians in order to get them out of the Army. The objective was to "stay in the closet" and try to perform our duties without getting exposed.  

Wow, how times have changed!  This year the Don't Ask, Don't Tell saga became a headline. For an update on this issue check out the following:

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell  on Sep 20, 2011

President Obama signed the law that repealed "don't ask, don't tell" and officially certified this summer that it would not diminish readiness. But plenty of opposition still remains."It's a tragic day for America," said Peter Sprigg of the Family Research Council. While gays and lesbians can now serve openly, there are still limits: All servicemen and women -- regardless of sexual orientation -- must continue to abide by strict standards of personal conduct, such as those pertaining to public displays of affection.

Marines Opposition Update on Dec 5, 2011

Marine Gen. James F. Amos, the face of opposition in the military to lifting the ban on gays serving openly, now acknowledges his concern has proven unfounded that repeal would undermine the war effort. In fact, he says, Marines have embraced the change. A Defense Department spokeswoman, Cynthia O. Smith, said implementation of the repeal of the gay ban is proceeding smoothly across the military.

What a surprise. Isn't it nice to know that gays are not a threat to military readiness? Whippee do-do!