What have I been doing this past year?

During the months of July-August 2011, I was in a "blue funk"…listless with no interest in doing anything with no contact with anyone except my mother and daughter.  I had to force myself to go see my mother in the nursing home, shop for groceries, go to medical appointments, mow the lawn, etc. My mind, body and soul had become stagnant and I feared that my brain cells may be dying due to lack of stimulation. Here sits this thing in my head, dormant waiting for something to happen. The days passed by with not too many specific thoughts about anything and no communication with anyone in particular. The weather added to my disposition (windy, cool, dreary, highs around 50 degrees). Cabin fever set in because I could not get outdoors to enjoy the sun and LIGHT.

By mid-August, I realized that I needed to "jump start" my brain or I would die.  So I went to my computer and started reading the chapters I had written for my second book. The more I read, the more my mind seemed to kick into an inspirational gear and I started having new thoughts for each chapter and began editing. I was waking up early each morning to jot down the new thoughts I was having about writing. I forced myself to get up and do this because I was fearful that I would forget the ideas that kept rushing through my mind. My fear lately revolves a lot around the possibility of dementia setting in, which in no way could I ever survive. The brain is a mysterious piece of God's work...if you don't use it, you lose it. 

Within a week's time, I had edited 9 out of 14 chapters and seemed to be overly stimulated or obsessed with writing. I would spend days at the computer in my PJs, drinking coffee or juice, smoking profusely, seldom went outside, forced myself to eat and feed the dogs, went to bed late, and felt guilty about not visiting my mother. By the end of August, I was totally exhausted and a complete mess--went from stagnancy to burned out.  But it was all good because I could feel my brain pounding as if it had a heart beat and was showing me a way to revitalize myself by doing what I needed to do and enjoy...writing and being creative. It became evident that by concentrating on writing and creating things, I will have a therapeutic way to cope with:

* being stagnant, lethargic and listless

* being alone and out of touch with people

* dealing with my mother's situation

* surviving the winter months when I am stuck indoors

It was time to use my creative abilities and talent to make ME feel inspired and alive...my plan and actions will be what I deem best for me and me alone. I will do what I need to do as I grow older--go with the flow and create ebooks and blogs that rock. I wrote this section in my daily journal during the timeframe when it seemed that people and the whole world is "out of balance." Democrats and Republicans bashing each other; Congress/Senate acting like children  pussyfooting around dealing with the US deficit; earthquake hits the east coast for the first time in 20 years; hurricane Irene rips water up the entire east coast with serious damages, flooding and fatalities. Plus all this chaos led up to the 911 10th anniversary.  My daughter and I agreed that God must be sending the world a profound message..."We better get our act together as a nation real quick or else."

So during these past months, I revived myself and am doing things I enjoy by telling my life story on my book blog and posting whatever I desire on this "hangout" blog regardless of any interaction or lack of such from readers. This is my way of enjoying whatever time I have left on this earth.

 

Take Action - There are times in our life when we know we should be doing something, but we never get started. It’s so easy to put things off to another time, another day, or next week, however that time never seems to show up. How much more could we get accomplished if we just learned to take action immediately instead of putting it off? Make a list of things you have been putting off and determine to "take action" now.

 Luv, Lenora